official (semi) hiatus

- final update for this journal -
just saying but if I can't get rid of my art block and get examples in to my commission journal before saturday I'll postpone opening the commissions because I'm sure you guys want examples of my art before deciding to give me money or points to draw your characters ;v; but now it's time to get to the point of this update!
I won't worry about it too much though nick told me to stop stressing out so much about getting money on my end because he apparently has it all covered since he asked his family to just give him as much money as they can for his christmas present so... hhh I feel so useless though like what the heck I really wanna help get myself out of here but from the looks of it I won't even have a dollar to pitch in pffft whatever //rolls around violently
He says I'll definitely be out of here before my birthday which makes me really happy because wow best early birthday gift ever? so I guess you guys don't have to signal boost me anymore but thank you sososososo much for signal boosting! I'm sorry that your signal boosts didn't help but it was really sweet and kind to know that so many people wanted to help me out thank you from the bottom of my heart later on after I move and get all settled in I'll make a journal directed towards you nice peeps ;v; to hopefully pay your kindness back with gift arts and such??? like wow thank you so much! this journal went on forever didn't it? ah I'm sorry for all of these updates but thankfully this is the last update for this particular journal I'll make a new journal regarding my commissions on saturday and then whatever happens after that if I feel a journal would be important (I mean christmas is coming up ;v; hee hee)

I will definitely post a journal on the day before I move just to keep you all posted then update that when I get to his house just to keep everyone in the loop!

- update -
did I say officially? //laughs nervously
I woke up feeling pretty out of it with what feels like a oncoming cold or a fever can't tell which and that's pretty much blocking my brain which is causing an art block so if I can't get some commission examples done by tonight I'll HOPEFULLY have them up tomorrow?
//sweats violently

- update-
I apologize for the lack of examples on my commission journal this will officially be mended by tomorrow night! I am only going to open chibi and full body commissions with no shading options (as I've already stated before) and my prices are very reasonable (I think) not to mention that point slots will be open for this round of commissions just for people who want me to draw their characters but don't have the ability to give me USD$ (I mean I do want a premium membership and I'll only ever buy one with pints sooo...) I want to be able to draw for people but I really don't want to draw for free unless it's for examples or a gift or for a contest or things like that. I hope you all understand and I hope my prices are okay (I mean I know that they're low but I don't want to bump up their prices because that's kinda scary)! Anyway it's 1:30 in the morning and I should be asleep uwu; hopefully I'll be back tomorrow with new art to upload as commission examples ;7;

-update -
good news! nick came up with a determined amount of money that we need to make this move happen! He really likes to overestimate so the total comes to ~$400 USD for gas food shipping and for sleeping at a motel or something on the way back because he can't do 2 13 hour drives back to back like that and because I get motion sick in vehicles and would really not survive that long of a drive.
So in news that you guys would care about my commissions are opening up this saturday (no shading options though because I haven't shaded in like a year and I don't want to ruin commissions with gross shading omg no):


-update-
once me and nick sit down and make an actual agreement on a money total I'm going to officially open up my full body and chibi commissions to help my cause I hope people can buy some from me because like I said last update of this journal I really don't want to have HIM do all the work I want to pitch in and help too especially since this whole thing is for me to begin with! I'm actually looking forward to opening up my commissions I can't seem to draw for myself every time I try my brain stops me but I'm able to draw for others still (weird art block) and I really miss drawing but even so if people don't want to take commissions I guess I'll just drop all my ideas of helping out my own cause and just I guess take requests for people are are helping me out and stuff! So many people have signal boosted this journal in attempts to help me and I've thanked every single person but simple saying thank you doesn't feel good enough I'd love to give back to them somehow and well this is what I came up with. Thank you for reading I'm sorry for how roller coaster ish this journal is becoming with all these emotions and stuff everywhere but it feels good to get these thoughts out.
_{(we had a money goal back before this bad stuff happened but it had to be thrown away since we're changing how we're going to do this moving thing. If you must known instead of taking a plane ride he's decided to take a 13 hour drive from his house to mine and then from my house to his. This means we have to take a lot of things in to thought meaning gas food and perhaps even a place to sleep if I can't survive a 13 hour drive. It's going to be rough but this is the fastest solution to getting me out of here so well it has to be done.)}

- this journal goes on forever -
2 AM update here telling you guys that I'm seriously thinking about opening commissions two weeks from now since my designs aren't good enough to sell for money and I'm hoping my art actually is??? they'll only be for chibis and small things but that's better than nothing... if I can't sell designs or custom designs or commissions then I'm just going to give up and leave everything to nick instead of push myself over the edge like this I'm losing sleep over the thigh of how helpless I feel he has a job and I'm here attempting to get good at art and designs over night just so I can help him help me move out you know? I don't want him doing all of the work I want to help out too... but not if it's messing with my health this badly he wouldn't want me to be half dead when he gets to help me pack my stuff and move you know? I'm just worrying and thinking too much when I should be asleep.

- mini update-
stress got me pretty hard so my sleep has been completely destroyed so I'm just going to be drawing things to help calm me down and such before going back to designing things I'm going to give me until this saturday to pull my shizz together if it isn't together by then I'm still just going to move on and continue to pump out designs especially since my current ones haven't sold gotta keep up my determination and not give up you know? anyway have a contest that I'm entering:

though it would be nice to enter this contest since the holder is someone who wants to help me with my situation and I saw this journal in my inbox last night before I nuked it so it sort of felt like fate or something ;v; <3


- tiny update -
Custom adopts will be available for 5-10 usd each starting 12/6/15! I will post a journal with details on my adopt account when I open them up uwu

My money adopts so far (each money adopt will only be 5 usd each):
<da:thumb id="496430521"/>
<da:thumb id="496472448"/>
<da:thumb id="496602532"/>
alright I got 6 adopts done so far! if these sell I'll have 30 dollars ;7; ahh every little bit counts right?! I'll be adding more and more to this journal as I create more I'm really rusty at this designing thing so they'll be getting better as I keep making them uvu
I will eventually open up custom adopts (possibly after my 5th batch of money adopts!) where you get to tell me what you want me to design for you and even send me a color palette the price is still being determined but it won't be more than 10 usd!
I'm making money adopts to hopefully help nick get money to help me move faster because his current "plan" is to not buy himself food until I get over there and that is the dumbest plan ever so yeah @__@


- new info -
apparently my aunt and my grandfather got in a fight so now things are very questionable and no one has no idea what's going to happen and that's scary because I really hope cops don't get involved


- update -
bad things are happening over here I have to move out as soon as possible and according to nick he the soonest he can get me is February and that's really not soon enough. this morning I was told that I'm being kicked out of my room at undetermined date and I'll have to live in my mom's room because my aunt is moving back for very dumb reasons. My aunt is a pretty terrible abusive rude person and I don't want to be anywhere near her out her attitude. On top of that my stuff won't even come close to fitting in my mom's room when her own stuff barely fits to begin with. I don't want to lose anything I'm attached to all of my stuff. I would ask for money here but I know none of you would be able to help because well you need your money for things and or you're too young to have a paypal and stuff. So in short I'm screwed and I need help but can't get help. Things just got really complicated really fast.


!IMPORTANT UPDATE!
Great news guys! I'm moving to my boyfriend's before or at the beginning of this summer. This doesn't mean I'll be back instantly after I move though! I'm going to need time to settle in and get used to actually living with a functional nice friendly welcoming family and stuff. It's going to be difficult I can tell but hey I'll get through it! I plan to be back by mid summer if not late summer and I can't wait to be able to interact with all you sweet people again. I miss you all and I'm sorry I haven't talked to anyone on skype at all since my hiatus but this break has really helped me out a LOT and that's why I'm not going to end it until I move out of my toxic environment in to a much nicer one. Thank you for reading this and I really can't wait to get started on my secret projects!

I have no idea when my hiatus will end I'll still hover around check journals for important stuff unless I'm not up to it and delete all of them I won't be favorite things much let alone commenting on things or even draw or upload. I need time to heal and I keep connecting what happened to this site. If I power through it and stay here I'll just end up hating this site and I don't want that to happen because I have nowhere else to go. I feel trapped and I don't want to be. This hiatus will last up until I can disconnect what happened from this site so that I can be here with a clear mind and not feel any pain from it anymore.